Former Lakers Girl and American Idol judge Paula Abdul pulled out her guest paddle and took a seat at the Dancing With the Stars table on Monday night. She joined judges Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli as the all-star celebs competed in Week Four's "Surprise" dance theme week.
"What are you going to be looking for tonight ... Paula?" asked host Tom Bergeron.
"I'm looking for Simon and Randy!" replied Paula, who was squeezed in between Len and Bruno on the panel. And then she cracked, "Carrie Ann, you look pretty tonight, and you'd be the prettiest girl here if it weren't for Bruno!"
Har. Har. It was the beginning of a night of wisecracks and petting between Paula and Bruno.
Meanwhile, the all-stars danced their hearts out.
Gilles Marini enthralled and charmed everyone as he danced Bollywood-style with partner Peta Murgatroyd to Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho. His Aladdin costume showed off Gilles' six-pack abs, not to mention his athletic ability. Len praised Gilles for his commitment. Paula, mimicking Bruno, said, "Darling, that was about as spicy as a vindaloo!" Bruno yelled, "A Bollywood superstar is born!" Carrie Ann bowed, saying, "Namaste. Aladdin has nothing on you." Scores: 10, 9.5, 10, 10 = 39.5.
Shawn Johnson took pro partner Derek Hough home to Des Moines, where they met up with the Fab Five U.S. Women's Gymnastics team for a chat and rehearsals. Their mambo started with Derek playing the bongo drums before Shawn jumped on him, off him, did the splits and twirled around the floor with amazingly crisp, sexy moves that brought the judges to their feet. Bruno: "You think you've seen it all and it keeps getting better." Carrie Ann loved their "absolute synchronization." Len said, "I liked it. I really liked it." Paula praised Shawn, "You were elegant. You were shining." She also praised Derek's "outstanding" choreography. Scores: 10, 9.5, 10, 10 = 39.5.
Kelly Monaco and partner Val Chmerkovskiy sported as little clothing as possible for their dramatic contemporary dance. Val was shirtless. Kelly had a sheer white shirt covering up a sparkling bikini. Luckily, the dance called for being barefoot as Kelly was "trying not to think" about her broken toe. At the end, Val carried her to the judging area as she tried to catch her breath, teary-eyed. Len loved her range of emotion, calling her performance "fabulous." Paula said she was "proud" of Kelly. Bruno said Kelly had the "hardest" task and she did it "beautifully." Carrie Ann said some of the moves were beyond her ability, but praised her bravery. While talking to co-host Brooke Burke-Charvet, Kelly said the show was about so much more than dancing. Val said, "I really don't care about the scores or results or elimination, I'm just really blessed I met this person to be part of her journey." He hugged Kelly. Scores: 9, 9.5, 9.5, 9.5 = 37.5.
Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani flipped for -- over and under - each other in a cute diner motif jitterbug. (One slight mess-up was shown in slo-mo. "It's the first time we've bobbled that and it has to be now," said disappointed Melissa.) Paula said, "You dance like you've been dancing together forever. The footwork was impeccable." Bruno said it was "near perfection." Carrie Ann said, "You have a way of making everything look effortless." Len said, "You've made little Lenny very happy." Scores: 9, 9, 9.5, 9.5 = 37.
Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke battled to figure out how to dance a bolero. But they ultimately did just fine. With dry ice swirling around the stage, they shimmied and twirled to perform the sexy, traditional Spanish dance. Carrie Ann: "There's nothing better than watching a big, burly man getting all dramatic and sexy..." Len: "Lovely fluidity of movement. The lifts were clean. Fabulous." Paula: "I'm telling you right now. It was exquisite, sensual. You are a sexy beast." Bruno agreed. "The mood was steamier than August in Louisiana." Scores: 9, 9, 9, 9 = 36.
Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel brought disco back to the ballroom, shaking their sequins to the Bee Gees hit You Should Be Dancing. Decked out in gold, under a really big mirrored ball, Sabrina did a backflip, the splits, twirls and spins. Bruno called her "the disco diva," but accused her of losing her timing twice. The crowd booed. Carrie Ann said it was "vibrant" and disagreed that she was off her timing. Len thought it was "fabulous." And Paula thought it was "spot on," but did see some missteps. Scores: 9, 9, 8.5, 9 = 35.5.
Apolo Anton Ohno was worried about his hip-hop dance with Karina Smirnoff because she felt completely out of her element. Their dance included Apolo having problems with his microphone pack getting tangled up in his moves and falling off. At the end, Karina was crying. "I slipped. I fell. I'm sorry." Carrie Ann said, "The beauty about tonight is that everyone was outside of their comfort zone." Len said it was "well done." He said he was looking at Apolo, not Karina. Paula said, "Apolo, kudos to you. You've got the swagger." Bruno liked his "attitude." Scores: 8.5, 9, 8.5, 8.5 = 34.5.
Bristol Palin had to dance rock & roll with pro partner and USA TODAY blogger Mark Ballas. Bristol was shown getting frustrated with the steps during rehearsal. "I don't want to throw in any tricks or gimmicks," she told Mark, who worried that they were "dumbing down the routine" because Bristol wasn't being "open-minded." The two wore high-tops and did a '50s-type dance to At the Hop, with mom Sarah Palin cheering them on from her usual front-row seat. Paula: "It looks like you're starting to have some fun." Bruno: "You were hitting all the steps." Carrie Ann called Bristol over for a high-five. "You're truly blossoming." Len said: "You came out and gave it your all." Scores: 8, 8, 8, 8 = 32.
Kirstie Alley popped out of a cake to kick off her wacky Charleston with partner Maks Chmerkovskiy. Steps included a cartwheel, wiggling her pink bloomers and doing a Shelley Winters-type swim. Len: "You turn Monday into a fun day." Paula: "You danced it wonderfully." Bruno: "You're a mad woman, and I love you for it." Carrie Ann: "You were playing to your strength." Scores: 7.5, 7.5, 7.5, 7.5 = 30.
Big news for next week: There will be no elimination! The theme will be Guilty Pleasure songs with the all-stars competing in one-hour shows on Monday and Tuesday nights.