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'I miss the little things' | Widower of slain Sacramento librarian Amber Clark talks closure ahead of one year commemoration

"I made this card for her for her birthday this year," Kelly Clark said. "She wasn't here, and I thought I will still make a card. She would've turned 42 years old."

SACRAMENTO, Calif — Kelly Clark found out his wife, Sacramento librarian Amber Clark, was killed when she didn't come home after work at the North Natomas library. Clark remembers going online and searching "Inderkum High shooting," and that is when he found out somebody died near his wife's job.

"I made a few more calls, and Amber was not returning my texts or responding," Kelly recalled. "So, I raced down to the scene, and I talked to officers who came and informed me Amber was indeed deceased."

That was one year ago this week when Amber Clark was allegedly targeted by a man who was previously thrown out and banned from the library after causing disturbances.

The alleged shooter, Ronald Seay, lived just a few miles away from the library and had only been in California for a few months, Sacramento Police officials said. In October 2018, Seay was issues a "no trespass" order because of the previous disturbance at the library, police said. 

Seay is due back in court this week.

RELATED: Man accused of killing Natomas librarian appears in Sacramento Court

In the days following Amber's death, City Councilwoman Angelique Ashby said the shooting was "an extreme tragedy for our community."

"Every person that walked into the North Natomas Library was greeted by Amber," Ashby said days after the shooting.

Amber's husband agrees. Kelly says Amber made not only a huge impact in his life for the past 13 years together, but also others. She started a program to help people with disabilities get access for programs and services at the library.

"Amber's sister Heather was born with Down Syndrome, and from a young age, Amber really advocated for her sister," Kelly explained. "She took care of her sister and was surprised at the lack of services for her sister Heather as Heather was growing up."

After losing her so tragically, Kelly is also raising awareness — for nationwide background checks. Since Amber's death, Kelly has been advocating for House resolutions 8 and 1112, both of which are background check laws that have passed the House and are awaiting votes in the Senate.

"The biggest message that I have learned through this entire process is one related to how people come to obtain firearms in different states," Kelly said.

Kelly said although he is not feeling as devastated as he did, Amber's death still sticks with him daily because of the way she died. 

It's the reason he said he believes he he may never have closure. 

"It was just horrific," Kelly said. "I don't know if I'll ever get over that."

A candlelight vigil will be held on Wednesday at the North Natomas Library at 6 p.m. to mark one year since Amber was killed.

Kelly has tried to preserve the library the way Amber left it. There are shelves with books organized by color and a box full of handmade cards by Kelly to Amber from over the years.

It's the little things that Kelly said he misses most, like cooking each other breakfast or making her yearly handmade cards.

"I made her handmade cards every year for occasions. That's what I miss — having a reason to make handmade cards," Kelly said. "I made this card for her for her birthday this year. She wasn't here, and I thought I will still make a card. She would've turned 42 years old."

Follow the conversation on Facebook with Ananda Rochita.

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